Jigsaw

Like this franchise mindlessly does away with its characters, I’ll do away with the plot or any discussion around the horror genre. So let’s cut to the case. Following a seven-year hiatus, Jigsaw has returned. While the trailer begs you to ask “how”, given that the most sadistic, self-righteous and delusional killer to have disgraced the silver screen was blatantly killed (and there’s nothing that spells blatant death like this franchise) in an earlier sequel, the question on everyone’s minds is an exasperated “why”.

(Spoiler ahead) The answer is simple: as stated in its own trailer, Halloween is there for the taking. This time, besides a title with a few extra letters at the front, expect the same soulless, gornographic series of nightmarishly-violent boobie-traps that fill a razor-thin plot intertwined with one involving a yada-yada conspiracy amongst a group of detectives, as the film desperately tries to piece together a puzzle that was never there to begin with. In fact, I’ll save you the trouble: Jigsaw – Tobin Bell’s John Kramer – is dead, and the events of this film – at least those which involve the traps – took place ten years beforehand, making it a near-enough rip-off of Saw 2, but a certain rip-off in general.

Exactly where the franchise belongs - dead and buried

The best we can hope for is that by churning out yet another mindlessly-violent version of The Crystal Maze, the franchise has walked into a trap itself. And unlike the umpteenth Jigsaw-copycats and accomplices who seem to populate each film (it’s just ridiculous), or even the filmmakers for that matter, I’ll show mercy, in that I pray this franchise has a quick death, because a long, slow and painful one would only mean more films.